Post by sgreer721 on Jul 4, 2011 15:10:32 GMT -5
This is an issue I don't think gets taken as seriously as it should.
From my own experience with being stalked, it is a form of addiction where someone forms an unhealthy and sometimes dangerous attachment to a person. My stalker was my best friend's boyfriend from when we were all in high school. At that time, nobody, including myself, thought it would escalate into a situation where you worry and fear of your own safety. After high school, they broke up but he kept in contact with me. I didn't think it was a big deal, he was a nice guy and all of us were friends. After awhile, he expressed interest in dating me but I turned him down. It didn't seem right that he had been dating my best friend and I always felt uncomfortable around him. He became very persistent over the next few weeks. Called continuously, would stop by where I worked all the time, etc. Eventually, he joined the military so he ended up half a world away. I didn't hear from him so this was an easy escape for me. After 2 years, he managed to get kicked out of the military and move back home. The phone calls started again. Talking about how he was madly in love, and I was destined to be with him, sending flowers, cards, etc. All hours of the night and day. I was firm and clear that there was no way I could or WOULD date him. Sometimes he showed up at my apartment unannounced. Sometimes he stayed in his car overnight in the parking lot. I never let him in, but never called the police either.
I got married and moved to California not long after that and he didn't have any way of contacting me. I had peace and quiet for the 5 years I lived there. I moved back to the midwest with my husband and everything was still peaceful for another 6 years until my best friend ran into him while being out one night. He managed to track me down but he wasn't calling at all hours when he found out I was married. But he did manage to let me know that "if anything happened" to my husband, he would be there for me, etc, etc. Great... so now I am worried for my husband's safety even though there was no definite threat. After that, I was always on my guard and watching people, cars, or anything to make sure he wasn't around. I had gotten emails from him but was able to simply delete and eventually block them. Over time, I didn't hear anything from him. I am now divorced, living 6 states away and have no contact. With the help of the internet, found my email address and started emailing again. This time he was married with four kids AND saying how he would leave his wife and kids to be with me. (NUTBAG! Leaving your wife and kids is a few more strikes against you... as if you didn't have enough already!) So I have taken it upon myself to remove any information I can from public display with my address and phone number. Especially my home address. I haven't heard from him in 3 years now. But I still find myself looking around at people when I go back home to visit family... just to make sure he isn't trying to find me again.
This is one of the people in my life that has made me VERY untrusting of people in general. People who have NO respect for personal boundaries even when you express your lack of comfort in the situation. There is a huge difference between love and obsession.
From my own experience with being stalked, it is a form of addiction where someone forms an unhealthy and sometimes dangerous attachment to a person. My stalker was my best friend's boyfriend from when we were all in high school. At that time, nobody, including myself, thought it would escalate into a situation where you worry and fear of your own safety. After high school, they broke up but he kept in contact with me. I didn't think it was a big deal, he was a nice guy and all of us were friends. After awhile, he expressed interest in dating me but I turned him down. It didn't seem right that he had been dating my best friend and I always felt uncomfortable around him. He became very persistent over the next few weeks. Called continuously, would stop by where I worked all the time, etc. Eventually, he joined the military so he ended up half a world away. I didn't hear from him so this was an easy escape for me. After 2 years, he managed to get kicked out of the military and move back home. The phone calls started again. Talking about how he was madly in love, and I was destined to be with him, sending flowers, cards, etc. All hours of the night and day. I was firm and clear that there was no way I could or WOULD date him. Sometimes he showed up at my apartment unannounced. Sometimes he stayed in his car overnight in the parking lot. I never let him in, but never called the police either.
I got married and moved to California not long after that and he didn't have any way of contacting me. I had peace and quiet for the 5 years I lived there. I moved back to the midwest with my husband and everything was still peaceful for another 6 years until my best friend ran into him while being out one night. He managed to track me down but he wasn't calling at all hours when he found out I was married. But he did manage to let me know that "if anything happened" to my husband, he would be there for me, etc, etc. Great... so now I am worried for my husband's safety even though there was no definite threat. After that, I was always on my guard and watching people, cars, or anything to make sure he wasn't around. I had gotten emails from him but was able to simply delete and eventually block them. Over time, I didn't hear anything from him. I am now divorced, living 6 states away and have no contact. With the help of the internet, found my email address and started emailing again. This time he was married with four kids AND saying how he would leave his wife and kids to be with me. (NUTBAG! Leaving your wife and kids is a few more strikes against you... as if you didn't have enough already!) So I have taken it upon myself to remove any information I can from public display with my address and phone number. Especially my home address. I haven't heard from him in 3 years now. But I still find myself looking around at people when I go back home to visit family... just to make sure he isn't trying to find me again.
This is one of the people in my life that has made me VERY untrusting of people in general. People who have NO respect for personal boundaries even when you express your lack of comfort in the situation. There is a huge difference between love and obsession.
