Post by guitargirl on Jun 22, 2011 23:26:20 GMT -5
I'm an adopted child. There were two of us - me and my brother. Both adopted from separate mothers. No blood relation. I always wanted a brother or a sister - more than anything. This boy, now a man, was extremely abusive and mean and could have killed me a number of times growing up. Still, I loved him and spent so much time trying to get close to him. At one point, he told me he'd always loved me, wanted to be close. So I let my guard down, burst into tears and hugged all over him. 2 days later, without provocation, he grabbed a butcher knife off the kitchen block to stab me. I survived and this time got a restraining order. I can't describe what it's like going to domestic violence court and having to testify that my "brother" tried to kill me but suffice to say it was one of the lowest points in my life. And I have never felt more fear than I did the 3 times I had to face him there vs. anywhere else. So, most of my life, people have asked me if I have any siblings. I always say no. I'm an only child. And the truth is, I am. It makes me feel more alone than I can say here. I guess I just cannot give up the hope for a better past. I've heard I can "choose" my family in this world and I'm doing my best to do that. Doesn't erase that sharp pain I get in my heart every time someone asks me if I have any siblings.